showing up is a lot harder, a lot lot harder.
TW: this post contains mentions of death and suicide.
The endlessness of life, as in my previous article, is always constant. And newness, refresheness, comes as a result. Anyway, welcome to my new rant.
I’m reading a new book, The Wedding People. And the premise is interesting. Phoebe booked a hotel room simply to die. It bring a lot of emotions to the surface. And, when she failed. When her mission collapsed because of her love of endings, she wanted to watch the wedding party that was happening downstairs. Her love of not wanting to leave anything unfinished. That’s when she truly began living.
Can you imagine that life, of living. Unafraid. Truly living and being alive. I can imagine, but I always feel like I am outside looking in. Looking at life passing me by. Creating experiences and enjoying them from a distance. Wanting so much but doing nothing about it.
One goal I want to put up for myself, since it’s Aries season and I am turning a new year, is to actually create more video content in the world. Talk more and be more outside my comfort zone. Seeing myself come to life more and enjoy the little things, you know? My theme for the year is beauty in the mundane. Yes, the mundane, the ordinary is beautiful. But it is also ordinary. Same old, same old. But that is also life - endless.
The thing is, we need to live in between the big moments. We need to laugh louder, smile wider. The world is for the living, and as long as we are alive we need to be living.